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I wanted to share with you that first time when I completed my first online webinar. Whoo hoo right!
I am totally comfortable with meeting my clients via online video call, or in person.
However, for me talking to the camera and video, and no one was there I was literally thinking “what the hell”?
I had a few people join – mostly friends others and some other coaches joined in.
I did about 30 rehearsals or more. Let me share just a few things that happened.
1. The internet was going out several times
2. About 10 minutes in, I realized I uploaded the wrong copy of PowerPoint PP.
3. Oh when I finally got the PP uploaded, about 30 minutes in the slideshow kept freezing. (had to start over)
3.A candle just BROKE on my freaking dining room table. and burned it!
4. It was recording day; I was dropping off the kids Maya as I was driving she threw up in the car.
5. My daughters school called I had to get her she had a fever.
Those are just a few things that happened, every time one of those things happened my energy plummeted. I had to work and get it back up- so I was in a good place to serve and share.
When we get overwhelmed in our thoughts it hinders our ability to stay focused and move forward.
Only through getting out of our comfort zone, is how we grow. How comfortable are you?
I did not realize at that time how hard it was going to be to record the video, everyone else makes it looks so easy breezy!
Well it was not easy for me– I want to share with you that sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves about something that we are in that vibrational energy- If we stay in that place things will continue to be hard, and seem like we can never do it.
I encourage you to start off with just doing a few things out of your comfort zone.
I mean simple things as you start this process you are planting the seeds of slowly blooming into your beauty.
We hear it all the time, why not start implementing it just ONE day at a time.
The point is things aren’t always going to be easy, but we would never know until we try – now I am able to continue to record webinars and I was able to launch one of my programs completely online.
What an amazing feeling! I can continue to show up for the women that are ready to start the process of believing in themselves again.
I want to dive into how we can shift our energy out of constantly putting ourselves down, or not believing we can do something. The reason is when you are in this state that is what your point of attraction and vibration will be around you.
How to be Less Critical of Yourself and Others
We all have our own set of values. While having values is very positive, there’s also a risk of getting over-enthusiastic and expecting others to behave a certain way. It’s important to realize that there’s no single way to live life or view the world. You’re limiting your personal growth and enjoyment when you expect others to live according to your rules.
Being critical of others has additional consequences. If you’re hard on others, you’re also hard on yourself. Your self-esteem and happiness suffer.
Life is simply more enjoyable when we accept others and ourselves.
Use these strategies to remove your expectations and be less critical:
1. Be aware of critical thoughts. Everything has a beginning. Before you can make critical judgments and say critical things, there has to be a critical thought. This is your cue to change your thought process.
Monitor your thoughts and remind yourself to be more open-minded.
2. Pause for five seconds and take a deep breath. In most cases, you’re safe until you open your mouth. When you find yourself feeling judgmental, stop and take a short pause. You’ll interrupt your thought pattern and give yourself a chance to think before you say something you might regret.
How many times have you wished you could take back something you’ve said? That doesn’t have to happen again in the future.
3. Understand that people, including yourself, are doing the best they can. That’s not to say that everyone is living up to their potential. But everyone has their own unique past, tragedies, upbringing, health issues, and way of viewing the world. Faced with the same experiences, you can’t be certain you would do any better.
The person you’re judging might be doing a lot better than you think if only you knew the entire story.
4. Avoid stereotyping. There are CEOs with tattoos and wonderful parents that used to be exotic dancers. You’re only fooling yourself if you believe you can judge someone based on a couple of characteristics or facts. Are you strong and patient enough to determine the truth about the other person?
5. Find a role model. You know someone that’s very accepting of everyone. Sit down and speak with them. Ask them how they manage to be so non-critical of everyone. Ask them what they think when they see a Goth teenager covered in tattoos and piercings.
Their thoughts are the answer to your struggle.
6. The past doesn’t have to equal the future. Everyone makes mistakes. Those mistakes don’t have to be repeated. Understand that people can learn from their errors. You wouldn’t want to be judged by your greatest mistake, nor would it provide an accurate view of you. Give others the same consideration.
7. Respect the freedom of others. No one elected you to decide how others should live their lives. It’s arrogant and delusional to believe that your way is the right way for everyone. You have the option to live your life the way you choose. Provide the same freedom to others.
8. Let go of your expectations. Having expectations is a form of trying to control others. Become more flexible. When you have expectations, they’re sure to be violated. There’s only one way you can feel at that point: upset.
Let go of your expectations and accept the outcome without judgment.
If you have a habit of being critical, you’ll get more out of life if you reverse that tendency. This is a great opportunity to be patient and understanding with yourself. The people that annoy us are here to teach us about ourselves.
Make an effort to learn more about someone you don’t like. You might find that your first impression was incorrect!
Those of you who know me personally or have worked with me before already know this!
What do I say about when you go into the bread aisle? You see over 50 different types of bread! Yes! They all made it on the shelf at the grocery store because they believed someone is going to buy this bread. If you are anything like my husband he will read the ingredients for what seems like hours before he comes home with some D^*% bread!
The minute you start to doubt yourself, ideas and thoughts I want you to just >>>>STOP IT!
Want to know what sets the uber-successful apart from the wannabe entrepreneurs?
It’s not money, or brilliant ideas, or even powerful friends.
All of those things are nice to have, but they’re not a requirement of success.
What is a must-have, though, is a good attitude. Without the proper mindset, you’ll constantly be battling your own brain, and that’s exhausting.
· You’ll allow yourself to believe your ideas are no good
· You’ll remain convinced that you aren’t smart enough
· You’ll be certain that someone else did it (whatever “it” is) better
And before you know it, you’ll have talked yourself right out of launching your new program, asking for a JV partnership, or writing your book. In no time at all, you’ll be back at your day job, working away on someone else’s business because you don’t have the confidence to create your own.
But a simple mindset change can make all the difference.
Get It Gorgeous!
Ladies, this one is for you. When we work at home, it’s easy to fall into a habit of wearing sweatpants and T-shirts to the office. After all, why dress up just for the dog?
But if you’re looking for a quick and easy way to instantly shift your mindset in the right direction, ditch the yoga pants and break out the lipstick. You’ll suddenly find you feel more professional, more confident, and sexier, too. (That last one won’t help your business, but it might just help your love life, and that can’t hurt, can it?)
Sometimes before a client call, I would just slap on my favorite lipstick!!!
Don’t Let Fear Drive Your Decisions
Too many would-be entrepreneurs operate with a scarcity mindset rather than approaching business from a place of abundance. Rather than telling yourself that you can’t afford to hire a virtual assistant or work with a coach, try reframing your thoughts.
Rather than thinking, “I can’t afford to attend that event,” ask yourself, “How can I earn the money to invest in this trip?”
Rather than saying, “I have to do everything myself because I can’t afford to hire a VA,” remind yourself that your hourly rate potential is much more than you’d pay a virtual assistant. Then fill those hours you’re saving by outsourcing with money-making tasks of your own.
By reformatting your thoughts, you’ll turn that negative money talk into positive solutions that help you grow.
Having trouble reformatting your thoughts, I love doing that its a strategy I would love to share with you post your thought below you would like to exchange and I can help you!
You got this!
I wish I could say that I was a perfect student growing up. I wasn’t, I was the girl who was trying to figure out the fastest way to get out of class. I struggled with paying attention I would drift off, definitely a daydreamer in class. When my daughter’s teacher shares some of her behaviors in class I am literally like “oh my gosh” in my head this was me! Many people don’t quite understand the daily struggles of a person that goes through episodes all day. I hope that if you are thinking something is wrong with you, don’t think that just trust and know that once you discover some of these strengths you will soon feel a sense of comfort.
I love to guide women to discover their hidden strengths sometimes when life happens we tend to forget or stop doing all the things we once loved to do. We say because there isn’t enough time or now you don’t have as much time as you did a teenager. In reality if you were born a creative person it just doesn’t go away. It will always be there and there is a deep yearning for you to unleash you inner creativity!
Think about it because it is so innate in you – from the beginning of time we have been using our creativity to do everything. If you are feeling as though it is lying dormant in you, it probably is. Don’t be afraid to get back into some of the things you love to do it is so refreshing! Your inner self is so ready for you to dive in.
Creativity is something we all use in some form, but many believe they aren’t creative. But the creative mind can be developed. The best way to do that is through practice. The more you do the things, regularly, that flex your creative muscle, the more you will develop a natural ability to be creative.
Developing your creative muscles helps reduce stress and improve your problem-solving ability. Begin with these 10 steps to develop and enhance your creativity.
1. Be mindful and observe what others are doing around you. The way we see our surroundings and our environment helps build our creativity. Notice and appreciate everything and everyone around you. This opens your mind to new possibilities while helping you build on collection of experiences to draw from for inspiration.
2. Be willing to take risks in order to develop your creative skills. While you will fail, you will be boosting your creativity and building skills you can use later.
3. Every time you make progress with using your creativity, you are building your confidence. Reward yourself for your creativity.
4. When you approach a problem remember there are multiple solutions. Look for a variety of solutions instead of going with your first one. This helps build problem solving skills and your creative thinking skills.
5. Start to keep a creativity journal. Use it to keep track of your creative process and any ideas you come up with. Go back and reflect on what you have accomplished. Use it to try to find other solutions to any problems you may have solved already.
6. Use a mind map or flow chart to connect ideas and look for creative answers to any questions you are facing. For the mind map, write down the central topic or word then link the related ideas around the center word. This gives you a visual for seeing ideas and how they are linked. The flow chart can be used to track what needs to happen when in a project or event. They can also be used to visualize the final product and what needs to happen to get to that finished product.
7. Develop your creativity by changing your environment. This can as simple as clearing your desk, painting your walls or moving your furniture. Or you can try taking your laptop to work in a different setting such as a restaurant or park.
8. Fight your fear of failing. If you fear you will make a huge mistake or fail when you try doing something new, it can keep you paralyzed from being creative. Mistakes are always going to happen. The trick is to not give up and to learn from them.
9. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things. Do this on a regular basis to develop your creativity. Changing things and doing things outside your comfort zone boosts creativity. Start with something small if you aren’t ready to rock climb a mountain cliff.
10. Take time to daydream and let your mind wander. Daydreaming leads to creative problem-solving while boosting your creative thinking. As it wanders, your mind accesses memories and emotions as well as those random bits of knowledge you’ve forgotten. Focus on the area you are wanting inspiration in.
Practice is key when it comes to developing your creativity. If you don’t do your activities, regularly, whether they are mental or physical, your creativity fades. There are many ways to develop your creativity. Just find the ones that work for you. Always be patient and kind with yourself. You hold the magic within you! I believe in you.
Just kick back and relax stop overthinking
For many people, “success “is obvious. It’s a life that includes a nice car, fine home, impressive job, an attractive spouse. Yet, people with all of these things aren’t any happier than those with less impressive lives. It’s because all of those achievements only serve to impress others. They do little to enhance the quality of your life.
Those with large homes still spend 80% of their time in just a couple of rooms. A $20,000 car provides just as reliable transportation as an $80,000 car. Even the most attractive people can become tiresome after a short period of time.
Success in the western world is too focused on showing off to your friends, family, and neighbors. It doesn’t focus on what will make you happy. You can’t find happiness by trying to impress others. You only show yourself that your own interests aren’t important.
Comparison is the thief of joy, stop it.
Let us re-define success with your own definition:
What is your passion? If you can determine the central focus of your life, everything else becomes much easier to determine. Do you want to write a great novel? Focus the next 25 years on creating and raising a family? Explore the world? Explore yourself?
Career. What do you like to do? Most people consider money first, but what would you like to spend eight hours per day doing for 40+ years? Of course, you’ll need to make enough money to pay your bills and pursue your passion.
Let’s assume that your passion is writing. Your career choice should support your interest in writing. That means your income is sufficient to be fully engaged in your writing activities. You might even consider a career related to writing, such as an editor.
Home. Your choice of living accommodations can also support your passion or be an obstacle. A home that is too big can require too much of your time to maintain or require too many financial resources relative to your income. You might also have to hire staff or housekeeping service to help. Managing those people is a drain on your time and focus.
Do you need to live in the city, country, or suburbs to support what you truly desire? How many bedrooms would be ideal?
How much free time do you want to have? This isn’t just free time to pursue your passion, it’s also free time to enjoy other things in life, such as your family, friends, hobbies, or attending the ballet. A successful life would include enough free time to satisfy all of your interests. Your choice of career is a big part of this.
Limiting your non-essential activities is also necessary to create the free time you desire. Avoid joining clubs, committees, and other voluntary activities that don’t add sufficient quality to your life.
Consider the end of your life. Imagine you only have a few months to live. What would you like to look back upon? Think about the kind of life you’d have to live to feel good at the end of it. Your time is limited, so make the most of it.
Truly, a successful life is one that allows you to accomplish or experience those things you consider to be most important. Those accomplishments won’t be the same for everyone. Avoid allowing society to determine the definition of success. Decide what is most important to you and then create a life that supports those things.
Pursuing society’s definition of success will result in confusion, resentment, and disenchantment.
Be brave enough to find your own path.
If you made it to this far into the post, let me go ahead and congratulate you. I say this because when I first started my journey I never even thought about these questions before. It was always hustling, running around, errands, and just never enough time for anything. ( like even complete reading this post I wouldn’t have time to actually do the things that I actually love doing)
We are the creators of our life; the only way we can actually move toward the direction that we want is if we know what the hell we want! I love doing this in detail when my clients come to me, and they think they know what they want, in this discovery process – it’s amazing what they find out. Be open, true and honest with yourself. It’s just you and some paper, have fun!
Take a look at these questions closely, go through them. Find out what you really want, I bet you will be shocked by some of the answers you get.
Do it. I always suggest work with a timer set 3 minutes for each question. This will take you about 15 minutes, I would for you to share some of your discoveries.
P.S I was guilty of the comparison spirals, gosh in just about every aspect of my life. Guess what sometimes they still pop up, but when you are focused on only moving forward, and pushing through those thoughts that’s when you know you are on YOUR path to success.
– Rafeea Roche